What To Do When Contractors Won't Deal with Women (2024)

My spouse and I had our roof replaced recently, and one of the companies I called said my husband needed to be there when they came out to give the estimate. I balked.

For one thing, I don’t have a husband; I have a wife. And second, the request seemed strange. As long as my check cleared, why would they need two people there?

It turns out this wasn’t an anomaly. If stories on Reddit and Instagram are any indication, women deal with this issue a lot. Whether it’s a high-pressure sales tactic or a form of sexism, it’s annoying. But is the request legitimate?

I spoke with Kat Christie, a DIY expert, licensed contractor and founder of She Fixed That, about this issue. We also discussed how women can find a contractor they feel good about hiring.

Do You Really Need Both Parties Present?

Short answer: No.

“[As a contractor], I meet the person with the wallet and the idea,” Christie says. If your male spouse was the one meeting the contractor, would they ask to talk to you instead? Christie thinks not.

Once the project is underway, however, she does sometimes ask to speak with both homeowners if she encounters behavior that could delay the project. Perhaps homeowners are playing “good cop/bad cop,” or otherwise hiding behind each other. Or maybe one party routinely fails to relay all the pertinent information to the other.

“This can actually delay sending out a bid, collecting a deposit, scheduling work,” Christie says.

Remember, contractors have schedules, families and other clients waiting. They want to keep things moving. “Speaking to both parties ensures nothing is getting lost in translation, so to speak,” Christie says.

Nuances aside, it comes down to this: If you’re the decision-maker and want to be the sole source of contact, that’s perfectly fine and should never require an explanation, no matter your gender.

What To Do When a Contractor Insists Both Parties Are Present

Since there could be two issues at play here, it may depend on which you’re dealing with.

One has roots in sexism. Men have traditionally been the dominant players in construction. Despite major gains in representation, women still make up only 11% of trade jobs. So when women enter these spaces, they’re often in a vulnerable position.

Christie chalks up much of this to generational conditioning, since traditionally, girls were less likely to hang out with Dad in the garage or repair things around the house. “One can argue that culturally speaking, women don’t have the assumed or expected base knowledge [a man] might have that an ‘old school’ contractor may be looking to speak to,” she says.

That doesn’t make it right or true, but Christie tries to keep this in mind to understand where people are coming from. You’ll be the best judge of whether it’s worth it or even possible to assert yourself and move on to a productive working relationship.

Or it may just be a sales tactic, with a dash of assumption on top. Someone trying to sell you a new roof or give you a “one-of-a-kind” deal on windows wants to close the deal on the first visit. They may not want to come back after you talk it over with your spouse, regardless of their gender.

But unless they’re the only game in town, you don’t have to participate in the charade. Tell them you’re the decision-maker, and if they persist, move on to another contractor.

Remember my roof replacement? I believe this was more sales tactic than anything, and I fell for it. It was a really good deal! I just said my spouse would join.

My wife and I still chuckle over the guy’s face when he asked where my husband was and Jennifer strolled through the door. Now that I know better, I wish I would’ve just called another company. They did a fine job, but I resent falling prey to manipulative sales tactics.

Other Contractor Red Flags

A verbal slip-up is one thing. But be on the lookout for accumulating red flags. A contractor who doesn’t listen or is dismissive during your initial meeting should give you pause.

“Ask literally any question you have related to your project, especially stupid ones,” Christie says. “The contractor who takes the time to explain something seemingly simple or stupid to you respectfully just might be the one.”

Another red flag: Contractors who work alone. They could be great contractors and do beautiful work. But if you’re on a tight timeline (and who isn’t?), ask about subcontractors, particularly with large renovations. Christie says a contractor who says they do all the work themselves will typically take much longer to complete a project than if they hire plumbers, electricians and carpenters.

Also, your contractor should provide information about their business operation. Are they licensed? Bonded? Do they have a positive internet presence, including reviews from past clients? A contractor who doesn’t want to share this info, or acts cagey at all, shouldn’t get your business.

In the end, Christie says to always trust your gut.

“If you don’t like them or don’t have a good feeling, you don’t have to hire them,” she says. You and your wallet have the power, so shop around. “If they question you, they are not for you,” she says. “Move on. ‘No’ is a complete sentence.”